Application college edition essay revised

College Application Essay Formatting Requirements
  1. The Write Stuff: 4 College Admissions Essay Editing Services Reviewed
  2. How to Write a Great College Application Essay
  3. Best College Acceptance Calculator
  4. On Writing the College Application Essay

I would be surprised if many of the admissions officers could portray themselves accurately with these prompts. Choose the option below that best helps you write an essay of no more than words. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success.

Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma — anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale.

Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. It's that simple. There's no formula, no trick, no strategy, says Harry Bauld, a former Ivy League admissions officer. But with acceptance rates at all-time lows, just being yourself in an essay means understanding your readers and the unique form in which you are writing. Harry Bauld has given countless presentations and workshops for students, parents and teachers all over the country on the writing of the college application essay. If you find that your essay is filled with words like "stuff" and "things" and "aspects" and "society," you may also find that your application ends up in the rejection pile.

Vague language can be removed easily by identifying what exactly you mean by "things" or "society. When you mention "things" or "aspects," be precise—what exact things or aspects? What endeavors?

The Write Stuff: 4 College Admissions Essay Editing Services Reviewed

What abilities? What things? Also, the writer could be much more precise than "activity. In this case, the revision actually adds words to the essay, but the additional length is needed to clarify the point the applicant is trying to convey. Instead, they diminish the essay's message and reveal the author's lack of creativity. The author is writing about her brother, a person who has had a major influence on her life. Instead of her brother sounding like "one in a million," the applicant has presented phrases that the reader has heard a million times.

This new description of the applicant's brother truly does make him sound like someone who is worth emulating. Most college admissions essays are first-person narratives , so they are obviously written in the first person. For this reason, the very nature of application essays raises a particular challenge: you are being asked to write about yourself, but an essay can start sounding both repetitive and narcissistic if you use the word "I" twice in every sentence.

In this example, the writer uses the word "I" seven times in three sentences. Of course, nothing is wrong with the word "I"—you will and should use it in your essay—but you want to avoid overusing it.

The Great College Essay Test - How to Revise Your College Essay

Many applicants aren't fully comfortable writing about themselves and highlighting their accomplishments, and they've also been trained by high school teachers not to use "I" at all when writing an essay. A college admissions essay, however, absolutely needs to use the word "I. When you use the word multiple times in a single sentence, it's time to rework the sentence.

Digression isn't always wrong in a college admissions essay. Sometimes a colorful aside or anecdote can help engage the reader and enhance the reading experience.

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However, in many cases digression adds little to an essay other than extraneous words. Whenever you deviate from your main point, make sure the deviation serves a legitimate purpose in your essay. The writer's mention of "other jobs" does not enhance his point about Burger King. If the essay isn't going to talk more about those other jobs, there's no reason to bring them up. Note that this revision does more than cut out the digression.

How to Write a Great College Application Essay

It also cuts and combines the first and third sentences to remove wordiness. When writing your admissions essay, be careful to avoid overusing flowery language sometimes called purple prose. Too many adjectives and adverbs can ruin the reading experience. Strong verbs, not adjectives and adverbs, will make your admissions essay come to life. When an essay has two or three adjectives or adverbs in every sentence, the admissions folks will quickly feel like they are in the presence of an immature writer who is trying too hard to impress them.

Keep track of all of the adverbs in this short passage:.

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The majority of adjectives and adverbs especially adverbs can be cut if the verbs the action words of the passage are chosen well. For better writing, focus on using strong verbs. Think about what you are trying to accomplish with your college admissions essay: you want to grab your readers' attention and keep them engaged. Lots of adjectives and adverbs often make prose seem wordy, fluffy, and over-written. Strong verbs animate prose. The most common verb in the English language is "to be" is, was, were, am, etc. Without doubt, you will use the verb "to be" multiple times in your admissions essay.

However, if the majority of your sentences rely on "to be," you're sapping your essay of energy.

On Writing the College Application Essay

The passage below is perfectly clear, but keep track of how many times the author uses the verb "is":. Every sentence in this short passage uses the verb "to be. The revision replaces the bland verb "is" with the more engaging verbs "deserve" and "trace. It can be difficult to learn to recognize passive voice in your essays. Passive voice is not a grammatical error, but overuse can lead to essays that are wordy, confusing, and unengaging. To identify passive voice, you need to map out a sentence and identify the subject, verb, and object. A sentence is passive when the object takes the position of the subject. The result is a sentence in which the thing performing the action of the sentence is either missing or tacked onto the end of the sentence. Here are a few simple examples:.

In this passage describing a dramatic moment in a game, the use of passive voice robs the passage of its dramatic effect:. The passive voice is not a grammatical error, and there are even times when you will want to use it. If you are trying to emphasize the object of a sentence, you may want to put it in the subject position in a sentence. For example, let's say a beautiful year-old tree in your front yard was destroyed by lightning. If you write about the event, you probably want to emphasize the tree, not the lightning: "The old tree was destroyed by lightning last week.

The lightning may be performing the action striking , but the tree is the sentence's focus. Expletive constructions involve a couple of stylistic errors—they are wordy and employ weak verbs.